


The First Adventure of the Sarcastic Bros

by IceQueenOriginal



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Cute, M/M, Meet-Cute, Romance, mario au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 04:46:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16716828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceQueenOriginal/pseuds/IceQueenOriginal
Summary: Logan and Virgil were an average set of brothers. They were plumbers and would always be. Until an evil King Bowciet kidnaps the Prince of the Mushroom Kingdom.Mario AU from Tumblr





	The First Adventure of the Sarcastic Bros

**Author's Note:**

> Before reading this, you should check out https://sugarglider9603.tumblr.com/ for all the details of the fanfic. She makes amazing designs and headcanons.

(This is a fanfic for @sugarglider9603 Sander Sides Mario AU on Tumblr. I highly recommend checking it out.)

Here we go again. 

As the platform rose towards the top of the tower, the past few days flashed before Logan’s eyes. How did he get into his situation? He closed his eyes to think it through.

It started like any normal day. He woke up, made breakfast and forced his brother Virgil to wake up. They ate in silence, Virgil wasn’t a morning person, and they got ready for their day of work. Logan didn’t mind being a plumber, it paid the bills. It was just he didn’t get a say in his life. His parents instructed him and his brother that they were leaving the Mushroom Kingdom and it was up to the two of them to run the family business. That was five years ago. Since then, he’s been fixing towels, eating, watching the stars at night, and sleeping. In that order.

He just wished some exciting would happen.

Boy, did he get it.

A Talyn frantically banged on the brother’s door. Groaning, Logan slowly got up. He wasn’t ready to fix yet another towel THIS quickly. The Talyn was so relieved to see him that Logan became concern.

“Mr. Logan! I need your help!”

“Of course. Is it your towel or sink?”

 

“What?” The Talyn was confused before they shook their head “No! No! I need you to save Prince Patton.”

Logan stared at the Talyn in disbelief. Vigil got up from his chair and joined Logan at the door. Virgil was amused, Logan was confused. The Talyn became more and more frustrated.

“Why are you just standing here?! Go save Patton! You are Logan “Jumpman” Sanders, right?!”  
That sentence made Virgil laugh and Logan groaned.

Jumpman, his hated nickname. Logan had an extraordinary ability to jump. WIthout any help, he could jump five feet in the air. Once, while he was fixing up a Talyn’s bathroom, a young Thomas got stuck in a tree. Without really thinking it through, Logan exited the house and jumped up, getting the Thomas down safely. The Talyn was so grateful that they made dinner for Virgil and him. He didn’t think much of it until it seemed like every other day he was helping to get someone or something down.

Virgil could jump just as high, maybe even higher, but he was too nervous to do it. He didn’t like all the attention Logan got. It wasn’t for him.

Logan looked at the Talyn. They weren’t going to take no for an answer. He sighed “Alright, tell me everything that happened.”

~

Prince Patton had just finished making a batch of cookies when HE arrived. A Talyn told Patton that a man who claimed to a King was here to see him. Patton, after handing the cookies over to them, walked up to him and smiled kindly.

“Greetings! I am Prince Patton.” Patton bowed and so did the mysterious man. “How may I assist you?”

The man smirked, a snake-like tongue exited his mouth. The Talyns and Thomases present hide behind Patton, terrified of this snake-man. “My, you are lovelier than I heard.”

Patton smiled but he was clearly distressed. Whenever his people were scared, he was scared. “Oh. Thank you. And you are…?”

“Oh, how rude of me. My name is King Bowciet. I have come for your hand.”

“My hand?”

“Yes, your hand in marriage.”

“O-Oh that’s very kind of you, b-but I’m not really looking for a husband right now…” It was a lie. Patton wanted a significant other more than anything. But Patton was a hopeless romantic, he wanted that spark, that zing. He didn’t feel it with this Bowciet guy.

Bowciet smirk dropped. “Did you say no?”

“I did. I’m sorry for making you come all this way--”

“I’m sorry your highness but, I’m not leaving here without you.”

“Excuse me?!” Patton wasn’t one to get angry but this guy was scaring his people and be exceptionally rude. Patton walked over to the door and held it open “Good day sir!”

Bowciet slowly turned to him, his smile dripped with evil and lust, a smile that terrified Patton to no end. He grabbed Patton’s arm and threw him over his shoulder. “I said I’m marrying you, one way or another,” Patton screamed and struggled against his grip. Bowceit was unaffected by his struggles and simply jumped back onto his shit.

The Thomases and Talyns ran after them but were stopped by Goombas and Koopas blocking their path. The rounded up all the Thomases and Talyns, with the exception of the one who is currently speaking to Logan and Virgil. It was madness.

~

This Talyn was brought to tears from recounting the events. Virgil was in complete shock, Logan became angry. He didn’t personally know the Prince but no one should be forced to deal with that.

He placed his hand on the Talyn’s head. “We’ll get your prince back.”

Virgil whipped his head towards him. “We?!”

“Oh thank you so much, Mr. Logan!” The Talyn ran off and told their friends about the two heroes who were going to save the Prince. 

Logan went back inside the house and put his boots on. Virgil ran in front of him panicked. “Y-You’re kidding, right? We’re not actually going to do this, right?!”

“He needs our help, Virgil, they all do.” Logan picked up his hat off the hanger and placed it on his head. He grabbed Virgil’s and tossed it to him.

“B-But we’re not heroes! We’re plumbers!”

 

“You always said you wanted a career change”

“You know this isn’t what I meant! Besides, you heard what that Talyn said! This guy kidnapped the Prince! He’s probably very dangerous! We could die!”

“Well then stay here, I told that Talyn that I was going to save the Prince so that’s what I’m going to do.” Logan began to walk out the door. “So are you going to help me or not?”

Logan waited a few moments before heading out of the Mushroom Kingdom and towards the unknown. Virgil gripped his hat before cursing to himself and putting it on. He ran after Logan.

“This better not bite me in the ass!”

~

Patton shook as Bowciet put him down. He kept quiet as Bowciet tied up his wrists but he leaned back to keep a distance between them. Bowciet smiled, his tongue almost touching Patton’s nose. 

“I’m sorry for my forwardness but I couldn’t lose you.”

“That wasn’t very nice of you.”

“I just apologized.”

“Well, that doesn’t change my answer. I will not marry you!”

“Hate to break it to you sweetheart but you don’t have a choice. There is no way to escape and no one will be able to save you.” Patton bit the inside of his cheek, he really didn’t want to marry this guy but Bowciet was right.

A Koopa ran in, suddenly becoming nervous when he became face to face with Bowciet.

“S-Sir…”

“Yes, what is it?! I’m in the middle of something!” He motioned to an annoyed Patton. 

“...”

“Out with it!” He snarled.

“T-Two mysterious heroes are on their way to save the prince. They’ve already made it through through the Desert Zone.” Patton smiled, he didn’t have to lose hope.

“What were you saying before?”

 

Bowciet growls “QUIET! Take him to the tower and make sure there is no way for him to get out.” Bowciet forced Patton to stand up and dragged him over to the Koopa “Don’t get your hopes up doll, I’ll crush them before they can make it to the Ice Zone.” Patton responded by puffing his chest up and following the Koopa. He had no doubt in his mind that these heroes would say him. He began to blush as he pictured what his hero could possibly look like. He already knew he was brave and caring, most likely handsome and strong.

When they got the room, the Koopa undid the ropes on Patton’s wrist and locked the door. Patton sat at the window and waited. He put all his faith in his hero.

~

Logan could not believe how paranoid this Bowciet guy was. It seems like every step he took, another enemy wanted to kill him. Logan was slowly being sent into madness by every Talyn taking him for rescuing them and advising him that the prince is another castle.

Virgil’s anxiety was through the roof. Nothing about this made any sense to him. He ate a mushroom and got taller. His brother touched a flower and could now throw flames out of his hands. Oh, why didn’t he just stay home?! He could be in his bed, reading a book, sipping tea--

“Virgil look out!” Virgil snapped out of his daze and just barely jumped out of the way of a shell that was rolling towards him. He landed on it, pick it up and tossed it at a bunch of Gombas. He couldn’t help but smile at his handiwork.

He admired how strong his brother was, nothing seemed to bother him or scare him like Virgil.

What Virgil didn’t know was Logan was beyond petrified. He was in no way prepared for this task that he decided to undertake. He cursed his need to help people. But he couldn’t turn back. Patton needed him. He didn’t know why he needed to help Patton, he just did. He knew this was something only he and his brother could do. He didn’t know why. He hadn’t felt this absence of knowledge since the day his parents had abandoned him and his brother. 

Then it hit him. That was why he wanted to help Patton. Patton was alone. He didn’t get a choice in what happened to him. Just like Logan didn’t.

He and Patton were connected and he had to help them.

~

Logan knew they had made it to the right castle. Eighth times a charm. Plus, the flames and the size of the castle seemed to only support his hypothesis. He and Virgil snuck past the guards and walked toward the throne room. Virgil inspected the other doors in the room, hoping they would find the Prince before Bowciet found them.

He wasn’t so lucky.

Bowciet pressed a button, causing the room to split in half, separating the brothers. Virgil gripped onto the back wall in fear. A river of lava kept him from helping his brother. He was ready to pass out.

Logan growled at the man in front of him. He had on a spiked leather jacket and wore a malicious smirk. Logan got into a defensive position and stared down his opponent.

Bowciet placed the remote in his pocket and began to clap. “So you’re the hero who’s trying to ruin my plan. Or should I say heroes?” Virgil shook his head. He suddenly retired from his new career as a hero.

Logan wasn’t easily shaken. “Where is Prince Patton?”

“Sorry, I’m not telling!~”

Logan had enough. It has been a very long day, and Patton has been waiting for him for a while. He jumped up and punched Bowciet in the face. Bowciet was clearly stunned by this for it took him a moment before he began to use his flame breath against Logan.

Virgil watched horrified as his brother went toe to toe with this dragon-snake man. Logan kick, punch, anything to stop Bowciet.

The remote that Bowciet used to separate the room went flying out of his pocket. It landed in front of Virgil, the lava only separating it from him. Virgil didn’t know what to do? Should he try to grab it? What if he couldn’t jump that far?! What if he landed on it?! What if?! What if?!

His mind was made up when he heard his brother scream. Bowciet was pushing Logan’s face closer and closer to the lava. That was it!

Virgil ran towards the back of the room, ran as quickly as he could towards the lava. He successfully jumped over it and grabbed the remote.

“HEY!” Both Logan and Bowciet turned to look at him. Logan used this distraction to kick Bowciet off of him. Virgil pressed the button and the room slid back together, Bowciet ran towards Virgil, ready to attack. Logan grabbed him by his tail and threw him into a wall. Bowciet hit it head on and didn’t get back up. Logan kicked him once more before running out of the room to find Patton.

~

Logan ran up the stairs to the tower. Virgil followed him, praying to get to the top as soon as possible. In front of them was a door with two Hammer Bros blocking it. Logan, still on his adrenaline high from fighting Bowciet, easily dodged their hammers and threw them out the window.

Patton jumped at the sudden noise outside his door. He got up from the bed and stood behind the door.

“Prince Patton?”

 

“Yes? I’m here!”

 

Logan sighed of relief, he had finally found the Prince. “We’re here to rescue you. Please back away from the door.”

“Oh! Of course!” Patton backed up as the door as Logan kicked it open.

Patton saw the man before him. He was in overalls, sweaty and looked very tired. He was perfect. 

Patton embraced him. “Thank you for saving me!”

Logan was stunned silent. The man currently hugging him was beautiful and his voice made Logan want to melt. Patton asked for his name but his voice had left him. Virgil chuckled at his brother and shook his head. “This is my brother Logan. I’m Virgil.”

Patton pulled away from Logan and smiled at Virgil. “Thank you for rescuing me!”

 

“Don’t thank me, Logan did most of the work. He’s the one who defeated Bowciet!”

Logan began to blush madly. “He did? Then I must reward him!” Patton kissed Logan’s cheek, turning his face redder than any mushroom in all the land. Patton found himself blushing, he had only known this man for a few moments but he knew he felt that zing when they first locked eyes.

Virgil leaned against a wall, watching Patton and Logan flirt. His arm hit a torch and the castle started to rumble. The three of them went pale.

“We need to get out of here or we’re ALL GOING TO DIE!”

“Start looking for an exit Virgil, I got the Prince!” Virgil nodded and ran out of the room. Logan turned to Patton.

“I’ve got you, your majesty. I-If that’s alright.” Patton smiled and nodded. Logan quickly scooped up Patton and they ran out of the castle. Patton began to blushed, he liked being in Logan’s arms.

Bowciet began to regain his consciousness. He forced himself to get up and stumbled in front of Logan and Patton. Patton gripped onto Logan tightly, Logan narrowed his eyes at him.

“T-This isn’t over…”

“It probably isn’t. You don’t seem like someone who can be reasoned with.” Bowciet stared at him before stumbling towards the back door. He stop when he was right next to Logan.

“I’m going to get a King, I will not stop until I do.”

“And I will defeat you every time.” With that, Logan ran out of the castle. Bowciet barely made it to his airship before the castle completely collapsed. 

 

Virgil jumped at the sound of the castle falling apart. Logan held Patton close in an effort to calm him down. Patton smiled and hugged him, a sentiment that made Logan swoon.

Logan carried Patton the entire way back, despite how tired he was. Patton did not mind it one bit.

The Talyns and Thomases rejoiced when they saw that their prince had returned. They gathered around the trio, cheering and crying in pure joy.

Logan gently put Patton down, kissed his hand and smiled “Be safe your majesty.” He turned and began to walk back to his life as a plumber.

Patton awoke out of the daze he didn’t realize he was in and turned to his people, smiling widely. “Everyone! I want you to meet the heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom! Logan and Virgil Sanders!” The crowd cheered once more. Patton motioned for the brothers to follow him. He brought in and bake them cookies. He offered them rooms in the castle.

“Your very kind your majesty.” Patton giggled and blushed at Logan. Logan couldn’t help but blush too. They were falling in love by the second, neither wanting their conversation to end.

“So, tell me about yourself hero.”

“Well, Virgil and I--” Logan turned to motion to his brother but Virgil was already halfway out the door.

 

Virgil looked over his shoulder and smiled. “I’m going to go walk around, you two should keep talking. I’ll come back later.”

Patton and Logan talked for hours on end, getting to know each other. They didn’t need to, it was like two longtime friends meeting once again. It was a beautiful site.

Logan swore to Patton to always protect him from Bowceit or whoever tried to hurt him ever again. If it meant Logan would be at his side always, Patton didn’t care if someone came after him every day.

~

For the next week, Logan continually went to the castle, just to check on Patton he would tell Virgil. They fell into a pattern. Patton would jump of the balcony and fall into Logan’s arms then they would just spend time together. They would bake, they would go on walks, anything that required the two of them to be alone together.

One afternoon, they invited Virgil to join them for lunch at the castle. Patton had just put the food down when an out of breath Talyn ran into the room. They nearly passed out. Patton went over to them and help them to a chair.

“Rest, please. Tell me what happened. Slowly now dear.”

“Bow...Bowciet...he...he took...Ro…” They fainted before they could finish their sentence. Logan walked over to a clearly distressed Patton and put his hand on Patton’s shoulder.

“What happened Pat?” Logan stopped saying “Your Majesty” by the second day of getting to know Patton. Patton adored the nicknames.

He turned to Logan and took his hands “Prince Roman, my best friend and the Prince of the Sarasaland, he was taken by Bowciet. Please help him.”

Logan looked into Patton’s pleading eyes, how could he say no to him? “Of course we will”

Here we go again.

**Author's Note:**

> What? A non-DMC fanfic? ON my account? More likely than you think. I adore this AU too much not to write for it. I hope you enjoy it.


End file.
